and I haven't forgotten your question, Ms. Requa, but I thought I'd share these words of encouragement that I got in an email from a non-teacher-but-really-freaking-sweet-and-interested-in-adolescent-psychology friend. She was responding to my sad email to her about how I'm having trouble creating any kind of consistent positive vibe in my new classroom due (at least largely) to the whack, punitive, I'm-the-teacher-and-you're-the-peons vibe of the school in general.
"The school sounds like it sucks, but the kids may warm up to you after a while. They probably feel like they have no reason to trust you, just like they don't trust any of the other new young white women who come into their school (or new teachers in general, for that matter). After they realize that you're genuinely interested in their welfare and that you're not just doing this to collect a paycheck, circumstances may change. Sometimes I wish teachers got paid more; because if they did, the state would be a lot more careful about who they hired and what credentials these people had before they got into the system (besides the fact that teachers just deserve more money than they make). Look at investment banking and management consulting. Those bitches get paid a whole lot of money right out of college or their shitty business school, but Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase are really careful about where they recruit and who they hire. They wine and dine the top grads and don't really give a second look to the unqualified ones. Teacher recruiters don't have the luxury; they don't have the budget and the low paying job doesn't have the frills like nonprofit work or social justice so that overblown 22-year-olds can think they're really making a difference in the world (regardless of whether they really are or aren't). Not that teaching isn't social justice, it's just that most new college grads don't think of it that way. So the poor kids get stuck with a whole bunch of ladies who couldn't think of what to do with their lives after college, or the women who just "teach while their kids are in school", or the retiree who needs a second income stream but doesn't really give a fuck. And then they occasionally get an Ellen, but by the time they do they're so tired of the former kinds that they don't trust you."
You know, I had never thought of the whole compensation thing that way. These words are a bit more poignant now, given that I'm interviewing for a job in Boston in a couple of weeks, and have been given no information about potential reimbursement for airfare and accomodations. Probably because public schools are too busy trying to spend money on things like computers for classrooms. Or soap, right Didi?
What the hell.
(Had a bad day on Wednesday, and clearly I need to get back to school ASAP so I can change my attitude by having a good day...)
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